mum2be.ie - Pregnancy and Baby Forums

[TheNewMrs]

Hi ladies,
this thread is in no way intended to offend anyone's personal beliefs in religion.

Hubby and I both changed from Catholicism about 5 years ago, we got married in a non-denomination Christian Church and would rather have our baby "dedicated" than Christened. For us to Christen a baby would be standing at an altar lying through our teeth. We know we wont bring our baby to Catholic Mass, we know we won't instil all of the Catholic Churches beliefs into our baby, so why bother making hypocrites out of ourselves?

We do attend a non-denomination Christian church weekly and are quite involved in the Church. To us there's a lot more substance to Christianity than Catholicism. We'd like to bring up our child in the church we go to now, teaching it what we believe, how we live our lives and when its older, letting it make it's own decisions. (I hate calling my babu "it" )

Hubby's mum and my mum have been on our cases so much about having the baby Christened. That we'll be "the talk of the place" if our baby isn't Christened. That we were both reared Catholic and our baby should carry that on.

Don't get me wrong for people who Christen their kids and follow through with their promises to that church then I'm all for it! But so many people just do it coz its "the done thing" and I'd hate to be involved in a ritual that's meaningless to us.

Anyone else?
Any advice?

[mom2djp]

the only advice i can give you is ye are the parents, if people wish to talk leave them talk, is it really gonna affect ye?? do what ye feel is best for your child.

[soexcited]

The christening always brings drama as far as Im concerned... your dammed if you do and dammed if you dont!! like a weding really isnt it, family get too involved..
We've decided we're having the baba christened but having no 'party' afterward and our parents just dont understand it... They want everyone there and a big hulabalu! its not even the cost of it all at this stage, I just dont fancy it.. Im sure therl be drama over it.

I think do whatever you want, its your child.... Have a good long think about it without your parents in mind and weigh up all the options.. Have a think about the schools you want your kids to go to, could they be the only one's not christened (ok not a reason to christen the baby but keep it in mind).... when it comes down to it its totally up2 u and ur other half.

[MarcsMrs]

One of the big reasons for us to have our child christened is that we are fluent irish speakers & alot of the all irish speaking schools want a christening cert before they will put a child on the waiting list!

We were both brought up Catholic & married in a Catholic church as that was what we wanted but we do not attend mass on a regular basis.....I would go to the church alot to light candles & talk to my Dad who passed away but wouldnt be into attending mass every week or anything!

soexcited - you are so right about christenings causing DRAMA!!! We have only told our parents at the moment & its already causing drama!! DH's uncles are quite rough (to be polite about it!) and I dont want them around after the drama at the wedding! So have decided to christen the baby here in the West rather than at home in Dublin, & only invite immediate family (as Ive no-where to put everyone else!!) and my MIL is totally going mad about it! But F her to be honest.....Im gonna do whatever suits me!

[soexcited]

and ur dead rite!!! christenings have become such a joke, people dont bother go to the church but turn up for the session then.. Im not very religious but the church is the main part of it in my eyes. Everytime it gets brought up by my parents I just say we'll wait until the baby is here to decide anything... dont even get me started on the godparents saga!

[mom2djp]

your right, we had little man christened last week and done how we wanted it, im so against the session afterwards that i picked a place in the back end of no-where so people had to drive to get there and i knew it wouldnt turn into that. i do think children should see that adults drink and they dont get drunk, that drink is there to be enjoyed, but i dont think anything to do with the child should turn into a session. one or two drinks ya fine.

[soexcited]

your right, we had little man christened last week and done how we wanted it, im so against the session afterwards that i picked a place in the back end of no-where so people had to drive to get there and i knew it wouldnt turn into that. i do think children should see that adults drink and they dont get drunk, that drink is there to be enjoyed, but i dont think anything to do with the child should turn into a session. one or two drinks ya fine.

Oh yeh dont get me wrong Im not against drinking at all, but the whole christening thing bugs me, I duno why... each to their own though, like I've gone to plenty of them and enjoyed them but just dont see myself having a big one.

[TheNewMrs]

I think Ireland is so multi-cultureal right now that my child certainly won't be the only one not Christened, or making communion/confirmation ect (then by the time my child is at school, hopefully those sacraments will be up to the family rather than the school-but that's a story for another day) . We have been looking at a school in our town that doesn't reflect any religious aspect, there's also an ACE curriculum school in our town which is Christian based and widely used in America for all denominations of Christianity that we're also considering. I would love to send our child to the local village school but right now its predominantly Catholic and just doesn't reflect our lifestyle or beliefs.

[soexcited]

I think Ireland is so multi-cultureal right now that my child certainly won't be the only one not Christened, or making communion/confirmation ect (then by the time my child is at school, hopefully those sacraments will be up to the family rather than the school-but that's a story for another day) . We have been looking at a school in our town that doesn't reflect any religious aspect, there's also an ACE curriculum school in our town which is Christian based and widely used in America for all denominations of Christianity that we're also considering. I would love to send our child to the local village school but right now its predominantly Catholic and just doesn't reflect our lifestyle or beliefs.

Well then I mean you've clearly had a good think about this.. do whats right for you and your family (as in u+other half+baby) dont make a decision jsut because your parents want it.. They'll soon get over it!!! they will because they'll have to.

[firsttimer]

my OH's son is not christened and we have been fighting tooth and nail to get him into primary school, then he cant make communion with his friends or have his confirmation and he would be the odd one out. but he is still not christened. i will be christening my child, as it is what i believe in but to stop any drama from happening because my parents dont talk to each other i would have to have two seperate parties so i think i will christen the baby incognito and then tell everyone after. haha

[TheNewMrs]

my OH's son is not christened and we have been fighting tooth and nail to get him into primary school, then he cant make communion with his friends or have his confirmation and he would be the odd one out. but he is still not christened. i will be christening my child, as it is what i believe in but to stop any drama from happening because my parents dont talk to each other i would have to have two seperate parties so i think i will christen the baby incognito and then tell everyone after. haha

Why are you guys having such a hard time getting him into a primary school? There are plenty of children these days who come from other countries and religions that have no trouble getting into schools here. What are the schools saying in regards to not making it easy for you guys?

Yea Defo the incognito idea is fantastic. We have some differences on both sides also (both out parents are separated and with new partners. Therefore baby will have 4 sets of grandparents rather than just 2). We will most likely have a dedication service for our baby which is welcoming the baby into the world and into our family, then if it chooses (there I go again with the "it") to be baptised, that can be done from 12 yrs up, but yea we said we'll invite EVERYONE to dinner that day for the baby's dedication, if they don't like the company they don't have to come but it was not our decision for them all to separate and get involved with the petty arguments they are all in so we shouldn't have to accommodate their drama's. If they don't like it they don't have to come. That's how we see it. There may be wine served with dinner but after the meal everyone will go their separate ways. My baby will not be an excuse for a piss-up for anyone!!

[soexcited]

Kinda linked with this topic but just wondering about the whole god-parent thing.... are people asking others to be god parents before the baby is born? We're not, but Im just wondering how common this is?

[MarcsMrs]

Yea we will prob ask them around Xmas time when we are home!

[mom2djp]

well as soon as i told my sis i was pregnant she used to call little man her god child cas she knew she would be godmother. and his god father we asked when i was 37 weeks but again he kinda knew he would be the one to be asked!

[soexcited]

We havnt asked anyone yet but we have people in mind....