mum2be.ie - Pregnancy and Baby Forums

[Jennie]

Hi Ladies,

Just wondering are there any single parents on this site? Just wondering how it is doing it on your own do you cope ok?

I recently fell pregnant with a guy and he basically wants nothing to do with us he was threatening me to have an abortion or he would kill himself and all this. of course i would never give in to such ridiculous dramatic demands and abortion is something totally against my beliefs, im just nervous how im going to cope on my own though im only 22 and its a big thing to happen for me. My family are great and very willing to help but i dont wanna take advantage of them either,

So is anyone in the same or similar situation? and do you manage?

[sunshine]

Jennie, I don't have any kids yet and i'm married but I've seen some of my friends in this situation. It is hard for them as they don't have a boyfriend to help them but they all agree that they'd rather bring the children up by themselves then have some as*hole who does nothing and treats them and the kids like crap. So I admire any man or woman that does it. Anyone I know has gotten on fine they say like every new mother the first couple of weeks when the baby is small and getting up during the nights every couple of hours for feeds is hard but it sounds like you'll have the support of your family which is great. The way I see it is anyone who threatens to kill themselves just cos a girl is pregnant and wants you to have an abortion is not worth knowing in my eyes you and the baby would be much better off without someone like that in your life. Don't worry hun you will cope and you'll be a great mammy, so try not to worry. Us women are much stronger then men and can cope with a lot more thats why we are the ones who carry the babies

[daisy]

Hear hear to that!
I am also just pregnant with our first and I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling with all of that added stress on top of the hormone changes. But by all accounts your life will be less stressful with a newborn baby than with that fella. That was a low stunt to pull. And who is he to think that his life should be worth more than your baby's!
You will find the strength and it sounds like you have a strong supportive family so I know you will be fine. And what's more, please God you will be able to look at your child a few years down the line with an overwhelming sense of pride knowing that he/she is the fine result of your hard work and love.
Best of luck with it.

[lovemylilbean]

first off, n we dont have any babies yet but trying, but i do know this, my mam brough up the three of us by herself, i was 6weeks old, n my brotherswere 3 n 4 years old, she was 26(i think), n she did a fantastic job, ive nothing but respect for any woman who brings up any child on her own, you will be grand darlin, you have ur family behind you just like my mam did n he is missing the most amazing thing that will ever happen to him n he had no one to blame for missing out on his childs life but himself. my father's mother (i have nothing but hate for her sorry) spread rumours that i wasnt his coz i didnt have red hair n green eyes- id black hair n blue eyes_just like my mam, never heard somthing so stupid in my life, nothing about how her son was constanly chreating on my mother hence why she left with 3 small children,

any way long story short my father never wanted anything to do with me, saw him 3times in my life the 3rd at his funeral that i ws dragged to, he contacted my brothers a few tiles in their lives but neither of us want anything to do wth his side of the 'family' the think they cn come around n think tis alright to be all nicey nicey, sorry im hijacking your thread now

anyway best of luck darlin things will be okay ur baby is lucky to have u as a mammy x

[Jennie]

wow im sorry about that mrsv2be sounds like you have been through it, i bet you are stronger for it though

Thanks very much girls i feel better now hearing that, your right about him he isnt worth knowing in my opinion as you can imagine i was very offended that he even suggested something as cruel as that but its not something that would ever cross my mind,

I am nervous about going it alone but ye are right at least i wont have to be looking after some idiotic man aswell, and I can have my baby all to myself!

I was worryed financially also and read online to get maintenece he needs to consent to his name on the birth cert or else i have to go down the route of paternity testing but thinking about it now i dont want anything off him,

Its very exciting though and my family are very excited too it was so nerve wrecking telling them but all i got was hugs and reassurance so i dont know what im worried about with a family like that im sure i will be fine (",)

Thanks Girls hope ye have luck TTC xXx

[mom2djp]

havent been there my self but my aunt went trough it, she had two baby's and no man in her life and she done a great job. she had help from her family and i know she wouldnt have been able to do it without them but now they are grown (in thier 20's) now im not saying it was easy for her, she worked very hard to raise them and work a full time job but she managed. i asked her before how she done it and i got "i knew no different, and i made do with what i got"

hun you are so brave to do this, but you do have people who you can lean on. after a hard day when you LO smiles at you and gives you a hug you will know you made the right choice.

[MammyT]

I know loads of people who are single parents, it is hard but they wouldn't be without their child for anything.
Don't worry you'll be grand hun, you have your family to help and support you.
It's his loss that he'll never know his beautiful little baby

[Jennie]

Thanks very much for your reply's its true what ye are saying it will be hard but il have to get out of selfish mode because it wont be just me anymore i will have someone else to think about but im sure it will come to me naturally

wantsabump i loved this "i knew no different, and i made do with what i got" its so true!

[mom2djp]

listen to her, she's a wise women when she said it i thought, ya she's right. things work out they way they do cas it works out for the best hun.

[Jennie]

That is true!!! you just have to make things work for yourself!

im getting all excited now was looking at strollers online a while ago i think im gonna have the poor baby spoiled (",)

[mom2djp]

glad your getting excited and spoiling the baby, nothing wrong with that

[Hawtmama]

Good luck Jennie.

[val]

hiya jennie just readin thru ur thread nw i had been wit a man who had been controllin i found out i was pregnant afta i left him like urself i was scared would i cope both emotionally and financially but like urself i had my family behind me all da way afta i had my wee boy tings were hard but my mum and rest of my family were dere 2 help me and i wudnt b witout my little angel its all worth it hunni and ul b a great mum and ur family wil b dere for u xx

[summernic]

I believe a kid should grow up in a functional family with a mom and dad, sure you can do it on your own, but just because you can doesn't make it a good idea.....But I respect your views, and I hope everything goes well.

[chellebaby2012]

hi there, fair play to you first off, my sis had her son when she was 18 and is a fantastic mother, he is ten now and as was said before its not easy but yes with the support of family and friends it can be done. Me and hubby are expecting #1 and if we can do as a good a job as my sis did on her own ill be delighted!

now, in response to summernic, what exactly is your definition of a functional family??? i hope im picking you up wrong here, but i can assure you there are plenty of functional families out there that dont consist of a mom AND a dad. unfortunately things dont always work out picture perfect, and i firmly believe that once a child is brought up in a loving environment regardless of weather both parents are involved or not they are one lucky tot.

i appreciate your opinion but i find it a little offensive.