mum2be.ie - Pregnancy and Baby Forums

[mammymccormack]

Hi,

I am having so much trouble with my mother at the moment. My little angel is 7 months old & I point blank refuse to bring him over to my Mam & Dad's house because she smokes in the house, in every room. I was apprehensive about bringing him over, spoke to our GP and she advised that even if she didn't smoke around him, the smoky atmosphere would have a negative effect on him.

My mother is taking it as a personal vendetta against her & she has said that I am keeping her grandson away from her. I did try & meet her half way & said if she promised not to smoke in the house for 48 hours before I arrived that I would bring him down. She did the first time but the second time she went upstairs & had a cigarette while we were in the house. It's like definance or something!!

I might add to that she lives 10 minutes away from me & hasn't been up to see him in over 6 weeks or more, lost count!

Am I doing the right thing here? Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated!

[Mommy2be]

Hey Mammymccormack, i really agree with you and i believe that you are right to stick to your guns on this. I know you can't really dictate to someone as to what they should and shouldn't do in their own home but if she wants her grandson up that much why not make the effort to ensure that the house is as smoke free as possible for his visit. Also the fact that you live so close by, what's wrong with her then taking the initiative to visit if she finds it hard not to smoke then in her own home.
She will come around, especially as it is so close to christmas, she's not going to want to miss out on him so maybe try talking to her again or asking her to spend time with him in your home!
But stick to your guns!

[MammyT]

I know how you feel, I hated bringing ds to my mil's cos they smoke in the house and like your mother in every room. Fil smokes about 80 a day so there's constant smoke when he's around. The smell of smoke is rotten. They use go into anoter room and smoke but it still travels if you as me.
The smell off his clothes and blankets is disgusting.

The odd time he goes out there now I take his clothes off as soon as he gets home

[mom2djp]

oh totally agree with you, if she wants to see you baby she can come to your house, a smoke free zone.

[mammymccormack]

Thanks so much for your replies & support girls....Mammy T...I empathise with you, it's horrible to be bringing him into a smoky house when all you want to do is wrap them up in cotton wool & not let anyone near them!! I've decided to bring the baby down on Christmas morning, literally for an hour because I feel I want to bring him there, not under any pressure from my Mam, going to the hubby's for Chrimbo dinner so I feel it's fair that way! Parenting is hard work without having to justify everything you do!!!!!! Mommy2be...you don't have long left....getting nervous?? PS I'm Mrsmccormack on Mrs2be

[daisy]

Wow! Can't believe she's being so stubborn about it. It's not like you are asking her to take heroine or anything. It is actually something good for her own health! You are dead right. Why should you put your little boy in an unhealthy smoky atmosphere unnecessarily. The ball is in her court if she wants to see her grandson. She knows what she has to do.

[summernic]

I think it's totally legit that you are trying to protect your baby. I think it would be ok, if they open the windows before you show up and obviously don't smoke around your baby... .They should show understanding! The worst is when they smoke up in the car!