Please help need ur advice !!!!

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Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Fri Aug 08, 2014 3:57 pm

Hey Ladies another good day out there today !!! I need a bit of help please :helpme . So my husband and I have been discussing baby no.3 lately and as some of u ladies know I am extremely broody but I cant help thinking is it 2 soon . :brickwall Some days I do be thinking I would love to try and another days I am do be thinking is it to soon after no.2 . My husband would try in the morning if he could !!! Another reasin in trying this year is my sister is getting married in 2016 and I do not want to pregnant or with a young baby for tat ( I do not mean to sound so selfish its just I breast feed and just thinking about baby ). And then I am thinking it could take us ages to conceive if at all . What I am trying to ask is what would u do if u were me ????? Really hope u can help me ?? Thanks in advance
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby DSDA » Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:59 pm

If its was me id take the not actively try but not prevent either. If you both feel ready but something is holding you back talk to your hubby and talk over your fears but thays just me.
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:26 am

I just wish I knew wats holding back lol .
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:02 pm

Thank for replying bump2coming
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby DSDA » Sat Aug 09, 2014 11:07 pm

Did you have bad pregnancies, eg alot of sickness or something. Is it thoughts of labour putting you off? Do you feel your body isnt ready? Room in the house, extra mouth too feed etc. Just throwing ideas out as too what would put me off, BUT at the end of everything id keep in mind that a baby is coming and that out ways all those in my opinion. (That would be if we both wanted am other kinda thing)
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby exciteddotcom » Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:02 am

It's a difficult one for others to answer. I was asking myself the same question 11 months ago. I knew I wanted another baby and a sibling for my little boy and I didn't want a big age gap between them but not 2 close either. I came off the pill and we didn't actively try not said we would go with the flow and thought it surely take a few months anyway. I was pregnant 4 weeks later which was a scary shock to me to be honest. I suffered very bad with morning sickness which I never did on my son I was kept in hospital for a couple of days every couple of weeks with dehydration and I felt so guilty on my toddler. He started playing up and saying he is a hand full would be putting it mildly. I know this sounds awful but if he had hit trouble 2 before I decided to get pregnant I would of waited another year at least before trying. I now have a 5 day old baby girl and couldn't imagine life without her but my little boy is totally lost and playing up very bad I'm dreading to think what it will be like for me when my oh is back at work. Only you and oh know what's right for your family. Someone once told me a mother will never having a baby but will regret not having them down the road when it's 2 late which I would think is correct. Either way best of luck with your decision
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:35 pm

Thanks for da replys ladies !!!! I love love love being pregnant the only complaint I have whilst pregnant is bad back pain but I have severe back pain on and off anyway . I am fine with labour however I have had stitches on both my boys the last being so bad had to go to operating theatre . But still tat does not put ne of yes its takes a month or so for me to recover after stitches but still dont mind tat ...:-)
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:45 pm

Exciteddotcom congrats on da birth of ur baby girl . Def need more girlie things in my house lol. Ya bit worried abput age gap thing withy smallest fella
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:22 pm

Love to see wat u other ladies think especially if u have same age child as my 2nd please !!!!!!!!
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby HoneyBee » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:48 pm

Hi kaf my lo is 16 months & I'd like to ttc soon - DH was initially hesitant, but recently it's him pushing to ttc sooner!!
I'm hoping to try early 2015, see how it goes & the aim is to be pg hopefully by dd's second bday.
My reason for waiting a little longer is:

1. If I'm a year in my job I've heard (rumour only not fact) that they do full maternity pay
2. Lo would be nearly 3 when #2 arrived, I'd prob take 10/11 months maternity leave again, so she'd be 3.5/4 when I was going back to work & she'd be in her free ecce year & I'd only have to pay crèche for half days for her plus the extra for #2 starting - which saves us €500 a month compared to have them both in full days if we ttc sooner.
Also, age wise I'd prefer my lo to be just that bit older. I know lots of people manage smaller gaps & make it work but for me, I'm exhausted come Friday evening as it is because lo still needs constant entertaining/minding and if I had another baby as well as herself I'd be run ragged! I'm hoping that by waiting, her being nearly 3 & a bit more independent it'll be that bit easier.
Obviously 3 is still very young, but things like understanding 'no', being more stable around the house where I can let her play away without worrying about her falling off her chair/trying to climb the tv unit, or even just her having enough attention sobs to watch 20 mins of cartoons occasionally if I needed to change a happy/make dinner etc
Also I bf dd & it's my plan to do that again & newborn feeds can take up to 45 mins, so in an ideal world I'd like dd to be at an age where she'll be content to watch a DVD or sit beside us and read books etc in a situation like that. At the moment she doesn't stay still for a second & if there was a baby in the house right now he/she would starve if waiting on me to get 40 mins to feed them!!!

At the end of the day though, all things considered I don't think there's a perfect time at all - like last month we had a few unplanned dtd sessions & I was late etc & found ourselves disappointed when AF arrived, even though we aren't ready right now! If it'd been BFP though of course it'd be great & we'd have made it work and all the above would have gone out the window, so there's only so much you can plan - Mother Nature ultimately decides all these things really! Who knows when we ttc in 2015 I could fall pg first cycle or 12th, and sure there's my timing out the window!

How are you feeling about it all at the minute? Are you leaning for/against or what's holding you back from going for it?
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby MrsS11 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 2:26 am

I'm currently pg on #2 my lg will be 20/21 months when this baba is born. We decided to start trying but not trying when my lg turned 1 and it happened pretty much straight away! We weren't sure how long it would take. My reasoning behind it was that we only want two children and we wanted them to be close enough in age to be company for each other. Ideally we were looking for around a 2 year gap. I imagine it's going to be tough for the first while but in the long run I'm hoping it will be better for them both. What I will say is i am finding it very tiring this time around and I do feel guilty that I'm not as able to be running around after my lo and sometimes feel like I'm not giving her enough of my attention as I am exhausted a lot. It really depends on what works for you and your family.
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Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Fri Aug 29, 2014 4:08 pm

Thanks ladies for all ur replies !!!! Honeybee I hear u on the bf I bf both my boys its tough going first few weeks . I am sort of still indecisive at the moment. Husband is mad to go again lol so I guess its me that's holding back and I think its more to do with my selfish issues like house being to small not much space for 2 boys as it is also the usual money will we have enough (husband was quick to point out it only gonna cost 30-40 extra a week if even cause we have everything else for baba and it is in great nic). Also I work couple of hours at the weekend and I feel guilty already leaving hubby and boys. Sometimes I wish I could give it up but it keeps me sane lol (also jobs are scarce at mo). I love babies so much and I am really really broody getting worse every day so I am back to square one . :brickwall
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Wed Sep 03, 2014 3:30 pm

Still in limbo !! What do u other ladies think getting desperate for advice lol
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby Cinnabon » Wed Sep 03, 2014 4:16 pm

We can't make the decision for you - that is yours and your OH's decision.
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:59 pm

Aww Cinnabon I no lol just was looking for other people's views or advice u no. Kinda a wat would u do in my shies kinsa thing
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby Cinnabon » Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:48 pm

See if it was me I wouldn't but thats because we only want 2 so the thought of a 3rd would give me the horrors!
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby HoneyBee » Wed Sep 03, 2014 10:07 pm

If you can afford it, I say go for it - we'd love #2 now but just can't afford it with childcare etc, so our plan is to time it so i take another yr off mat leave with #2 and then when its time to go back to work dd will be doing her ecce year & that should relieve some of the pressure financially.
If DH was behind me & if the cost wasn't a factor or if I had the option of making it work by being a sahm or DH was a sahd I'd defo go for it now, so if your situation allows I say go for it.
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Re: Please help need ur advice !!!!

Postby kaf1807 » Thu Sep 04, 2014 3:28 pm

Well have a chat with da hubby and we decided that we not gonna try and not prevent either so its in gods hands now . I am actually pretty excited now . Erm now to join a train or not . We dtd last nite and I am due to ovulate tomorrow !!!
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