Planned bfp and dumped in one day, crisis

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Planned bfp and dumped in one day, crisis

Postby baby2 » Fri Apr 08, 2016 4:41 am

Hi all,

I just joined this group as myself and partner of nearly 12 years were planning baby #2.

DD #1 is 15months, and when she was born we had an argument with his family and they haven't wished to see me since, this argument attacked both of us and we both were equally disrespected. However over the past few month he has reconnected with his family and wished for me to do the same which I tried but they pretty much told me I was dead to them and they only wished to see DD. This makes me sound awful but it wasn't even my argument in the first place so I guess it's just a dislike to me,they have always told me their son can do better but we ignored their comments and we're happy.

Sorry...anyhow I earn more, I feel I'm a good person and I believe we're all equal, I encouraged him to get and education which I supported him with but to his family I made him give up his dreams of being a musician. He still plays music but after 3years together and him working in supermarket I did push him a bit. The only thing that my family can suggest for their disapproval is my foreign origin or they don't want to have anyone as his partner (his sister is married to a an non Irish also and they disapprove of him also).

Anyhow things have been hard on us as he struggled without his family and began to resent mine for being involved with our DD. I originally found his family reconnection hard, but their his family so I said nothing and he and my DD the past few months have had a separate relationship with them. This I felt was working although hurt me, we both seemed happier and have been close so we continued with our life plan to have more babies.

All my pregnancy tests were negative this month and he was supportive and told me its OK it will happen. Casually a few days later he told me he didn't want another baby, I thought he was argue with me and dismissed the seriousness of what he said.

On Wednesday I got home from work and his thing we're packed and he told me he wasn't in love anymore and he calmly told me of his plans. He apologized for not saying anything before and he said he was relieved with my negative tests. He left.

As I was only home from work, I started to cry still in my coat and DD swinging out of my leg, I went to my bedroom and sat on my bed and sobbed, DD was pulling everything out of presses to amuse herself and the suddenly hands me a test, I done one the day before 16dpo and it was negative, so I just said I'd make it certain and took it.

BFP.

I told OH I don't know why, it had only been about 20minutes since he left. I guess I was hoping he would come back and say its was a mistake. But no I'm officially single and knocked up!

I'm now so lost as I struggle through thinking of my first pregnancy and all the happy stages we both shared. How do I do this alone? I'm so worried and stressed, my car broke this week, I need a new one, the mortgage is high, I know these are practical things but I'm struggling to see how I can keep this life so I guess I'm struggling as I don't know what I'm offering this baby.

I want it 100%, and now I worry that stress will hurt my bean or worse. I feel like this is all my hope for a sibling to my DD and I feel as I still love OH that this is all I've left of him. I've had a miscarriage before and I'm terrified to move now, it's not like most people who could try again..

I don't know why I'm writing this I guess I just needed somewhere to say it. I told my mam, as I feel I have no friends as they are our friends. OH has been my best friend, I've never had a close other friend. My mam is already not helping by dictating what I should now do. I've no savings and we spent everything on home improvements before DD. Sure we even have a joint account.


WTF do I do now???
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baby2
 
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2016 11:33 pm

Re: Planned bfp and dumped in one day, crisis

Postby iwishiwas » Fri Apr 08, 2016 5:58 am

Sending you hugs xxx

I've a similar story, in-laws ruined my life pretty much. But I now see if my relationship was solid this would not have happened.

I'm in a on off relationship with my OH of 13 years over the past year, I know it's over really but it's been so long how do you make that chop! And be free, especially with a child. My DD is 15months and has a separate relationship with in-laws, my terms as they are not to be trusted regarding verbal abuse.

I don't know what to tell you as you have a bean also, congratulations to you xxx be happy this is what you planned, it's not ur fault this baby is not wanted by OH. You want this baby, you are so brave already xxx

All that's important is you look after yourself DD and ur bean, just try take it day by day, everything happens for a reason I really try to believe.


Wishing you a healthy 9months xxx this is a happy time and you will learn to enjoy this even without sharing the stages as you said you did with OH on DD xxx

Your not alone x
iwishiwas
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:46 pm

Re: Planned bfp and dumped in one day, crisis

Postby iwishiwas » Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:27 am

I got a Bfp this am, my oh said he is happy now I'm questioning what I wrote you to say I think my relationship is over.

I've had symptoms but I just thought I was sick.

IL let you know how I'm going as our journey is similar. IL see you on Dec train. Xxx
iwishiwas
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:46 pm

Re: Planned bfp and dumped in one day, crisis

Postby baby2 » Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:33 am

Congratulations xxx il pm you xxx
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2016 11:33 pm


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