New baby and toddler

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New baby and toddler

Postby Kcsmrs » Fri Aug 12, 2016 11:03 pm

I'm just wondering if anyone with 2 or more LOs has any advice or tips on how to make the adjustment of having a new baby in the house a bit easier - what worked/didn't work for you? We are due baby number 2 in 4 weeks and DD will be just about 21 months.
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Re: New baby and toddler

Postby HoneyBee » Sat Aug 13, 2016 12:12 am

I don't think there's any right/wrong way to make the adjustment - if anything I think you have to just go with the flow a bit, in that your routine at the moment will change, so in regards to your toddler you'll need to just try give her reassurance, and understanding if there's times she's fussy/upset by things not happening as they normally do.
That said, it's helpful if you have some kind of daily schedule, so that everyone gets into some kind of routine & your dd gets to expect what's coming next - all the parenting stuff I read seemed to agree that routine & them knowing what comes next etc helps them make the transition.
I also tried to include her where possible, so asking her to hand me nappies, or give me a bib. Little things that made her feel included.
I also BF & that was harder because ds was a hungry newborn & my 2.5yr old initially had no interest in being still for 30/40 mins while I fed him every 2/3 hours, so I started reading her stories or putting on a TV show she liked when he fed - I'm not a huge fan of her watching telly but sometimes you just need the help!
Initially I tried getting them to nap at the same time, but to be honest I'd spend the hour cleaning & then when they both woke it was all hands on deck making her a snack while he was screaming for a feed so I then started to stagger the naps so that one was awake while the other napped & then I'd put the other one down as fed fed the second one. It also meant me and dd got some one on one time without the baba pulling me away from play doh, or Lego for another feed! The downside is you don't really get time for yourself.
On that note, if you get the offer of help, take it!! I was so stubborn but looking back there were so many times I should have said 'yes please do watch him while I shower' or 'yeah it'd be great if you could bring something for lunch with you when you visit', so if you get the offers take them!!
Other than that, I'd just say enjoy them. I know I felt enormous pressure to be supermom but I keep reminding myself even now that the house can wait, the dishes can wait, the hoovering can wait, and I really try to spend as much time with them both as I can - it's hard, because you do have to feed everyone and of course for practicality (clean clothes, washed dishes lol) you do have to do housework, but I try do little bits here and there and when they are awake spend that time with them.
Congrats on the new arrival and I hope everything goes really smoothly for you.
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Re: New baby and toddler

Postby Itwillhappen » Sat Aug 13, 2016 1:51 pm

I try to have a routine as much as possible.a new Baby usually sleeps a lot during the day so I found that ok for giving the toddler attention but honestly she has learnt patience these last few months. She's so young (was only 14 months when he was born) I don't think she remembers not having a baby brother.
I bundle them into the pram every morning after breakfast to get out of the house/keep myself sane and also to get the baby to sleep when he's ready for his first nap. The fresh air does us all good. My toddler sleeps from 1-3 and the baby usually overlaps in someway say half 1 - half 2 or something like that. I do nothing in that time except drink tea and watch tv!I really need the recharge! In the early days I napped be it for 40 mins or 2 hours whatever I was lucky enough to get!
My house is generally like a kip but I run myself ragged when I only had one and I swore I wouldn't do it this time. I couldn't care. as long as we are all clean and fed I'm happy, anything else is a bonus.
Hubby usually gets up to toddler if she ever wakes at night which is rare but that's a great help especially in the early weeks when no doubt she will get sick. I sent hubby off to spare room so he was generally getting unbroken sleep.
And yes take all help!! I have let my guard down and would let anybody help me now :)
The biggest thing is trying not to throttle my hubby. It's a daily battle. I have found going to 2 a huge strain on the relationship but hopefully that won't be the same for you!
Good luck and if you have any questions ask away X
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Re: New baby and toddler

Postby Kcsmrs » Sat Aug 13, 2016 2:53 pm

Thanks a mil for your replies ladies, that's great advice. I'm brutal for accepting help - I'm sure I'll get over that quick enough! DH works 12 hour shifts so I'm worried about managing on my own from morning to night. I really have to use my parents and MIL. Routine seems to be the big one so I'll make that a priority. I plan to take advantage of baby sleeping a lot in the early days to ensure that DD gets the attention she's used to. I'm looking forward to her learning patience as she's none of that now! I plan to get out and about with the buggy a lot. I think myself and DH will have similar issues itwillhappen, already feel like that during the pregnancy! I guess it's something that most couples struggle with and hopefully it gets easier as the kids get older. Ive had lots of comments from people that I'm going to have my work cut out or expressing disbelief that I'm having another baby so soon. Although anyone I've spoken to who's done it has said that its great having two so close, especially as they get older as they become great friends.
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Re: New baby and toddler

Postby Itwillhappen » Sun Aug 14, 2016 6:39 am

People really don't know when to mind their own business do they! There are pro's and cons no matter what the age gap and everyone's situation/reasons are different not to mention personal.
I got stopped in the shop the other day by a woman saying "oh you poor thing you have twins"!I definitely don't want strangers commiserations and babies are a blissing in my opinion despite the hard work. Wish people would think before they spoke.
Really hope the relationship situation gets better too. It's a constant battle :/
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