How to give/get feedback from hospital after birth

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How to give/get feedback from hospital after birth

Postby PastelBlue » Sun Feb 25, 2018 6:45 am

Hi ladies

I’m lying awake at 5:20am and for once it’s not because of the baby! Zoë is nearly 3 weeks old and although I love her to death I cannot truthfully say that the day she was born was the “happiest day of my life”. Am I supposed to feel this way? I found the birth quite traumatic to be honest. After an hour of pushing I was told that I was failing to make progress and it ended in an unplanned c-section. I feel I failed at something that my body should be able to do naturally. She is my first baby and I feel any future deliveries I will have are going to be tainted by this. I have no idea if there was a problem, like her head got stuck or something, or if I just couldn’t do it. I spent my time in hospital in a bubble and it’s only now that the dust is settling that I find myself going through these details in my mind and asking all these questions.

Another big issue I have is that she wasn’t shown to me after she was born. The doctors took her out and told my OH to stand up so he could see her. I didn’t see anything. We never had our skin to skin moment. I had also specifically put in my birth plan that if I couldn’t do skin-to-skin for any reason I wanted my partner to do it. But this was never mentioned or offered to us. At the time I completely forgot about it. Apparently I went into theatre with a slightly elevated temperature so she had to be checked out by the baby doctors as soon as she was delivered. Neither of us got to hold her for even a minute. She was brought to me all wrapped up in a bundle, I felt like I hadn’t even seen her properly. Just her face, I didn’t see her body. After a few minutes she was gone and I went to recovery. For some reason I was there for so long, probably 2 hours. No one was even doing anything, I was literally just lying there. Thinking back on it now I should really have said wtf am I still doing here, I want to be with my baby. But of course I was so shell shocked and exhausted I said nothing.

When I got back to the post natal ward, it was visiting time and my two sisters had come in and were there with my partner. They had both gotten to hold her before me. I’m still so angry about this. I know it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault but it makes me feel so sad. The first time I held my baby was in front of an audience in a busy hospital ward.

I’m wondering if it’s possible to discuss all these things with the hospital at this stage or will they think I am mad? Maybe I should have brought it all up at the time when I was an in-patient and I should just let it go now. But I can’t. I cry about it every day. My perfect moment was ruined and I’m not even sure why. I want to know specifically why I couldn’t birth my baby the way I wanted to, why I couldn’t hold her, why her first feed had to be given by a bottle when I wanted to breastfeed her.

I’m going to mention it to my GP at our 6 week check up but I doubt she will have any answers for me. Sorry for the long rant, I guess I have a touch of the blues today.
Posts: 179
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 4:07 pm

Re: How to give/get feedback from hospital after birth

Postby MrsB2015 » Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:50 pm

Posts: 268
Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2015 5:06 pm

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