Am I overreacting?

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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby tippergirl » Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:47 pm

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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby HoneyBee » Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:55 pm

Yeah I don't want to be too knee-jerk & put her elsewhere too quickly but on the other hand I'm thinking what would I do if something did happen and it came to light I'd had these niggling doubts/how awful would I feel then?

I think I'll see how next week goes and judge from there maybe. God being a mammy is hard :(
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby tippmam » Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:59 pm

Very hard honeybee:-( wish we could all have little cameras built into them so we could see what they're doing all day ;-) I hope u sort things with your dh too it's not nice feeling like you've no support as such I understand your concerns it's a hard decision to make it really is but unfortunately no one can make it only you if u way up the pros & cons of moving her & starting fresh to leaving her where she is & being worried constantly... I don't know hopefully it's just she was playing & bumped herself with a toy & didn't cry so the girls didn't pay any heed
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby HoneyBee » Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:10 pm

At this stage bloody divorce would be preferable. If we're not working we're fighting or cleaning the house or trying to catch a few hours sleep. See I drop her off, collect her, give her dinner & put her to bed most nights before he's home so in a way he's removed from the whole process, so he just tends to leave it to me, but that's not fair, its a joint decision!

Hopefully it's just her being an active lil lady, like outside of the one girl who has the blase attitude her core team in her room are all lovely girls & I know she likes them so it'd be a shame to move her if its not totally necessarily
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby firsttimemum » Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:11 pm

Do you know any of the other mums who have or have had their kids there? If you did Maybe ask one of them what they think?
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby HoneyBee » Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:21 pm

No I don't know any of them there, I picked it because its close to work, had high staff ratios, they do a Montessori & naoinra programme, have home cooked foods every day, bake own breads etc, no packet foods - so all good stuff really, but it's not in an area of be familiar with/wouldn't know anyone local there
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby firsttimemum » Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:41 pm

Sounds like an amazing creche. Maybe keep an eye on it. Give it a few weeks and keep a note of things? And talk to the manager then if your still worried
I'm not at that stage yet but I'm sure I'll want to know every bump and bruise on my little man.
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby HoneyBee » Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:48 pm

Yeah in fairness they have everything I wanted on my crèche 'wish list', it's just these few things that have me a lil scared/worried.

I think im just like any first time mammy, I want the absolute best for my lady at all times & the thought of her being upset or not listened to just rips me up.

Hopefully that's not the case x
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby DSDA » Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:45 am

Your little one is just learning to walk/run. She could be the type to pick herself up and carry on (I dont know but you would) if she is it could be that it was missed. My fella does this and only cries if he got a fright or is really hurt. I actually missed a cut knee (bleeding and all) cas he got up straight away and played away with his cousin's. Wasnt until I saw blood on his leg that I was oh he actually hurt himself. There was 5 adults and 4 children, all of us looking and none of noticed. Its just the type of child he is most of the time. I know my fella is covered in bruises but I always say he never walked he ran from day one. There wasn't a day that he didn't get a new one or cut cas he just went faster than he could manage. It's not nice not being there and then to notice a new cut or something but she's just at this age learning how yo be on teo legs and wanting to get there fast. xxx
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby Cinnabon » Sat Jun 28, 2014 2:20 pm

14/15 children is a lot no matter how many minders are in a room. Have you actually tried to mind a few children of that age on your own? You definitely can't see everything that goes on.

And yes bumps and bruises are to be expected but it would be the same if at home with you or somewhere else.
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby HoneyBee » Sat Jun 28, 2014 4:26 pm

I think my dd is very like your ds hun, she tries running all the time and that prob does account for her trips sometimes, but it's just the fact that they don't know worried me. If she fell 5 times a week & they said 'oh she was racing around' I'd prob be much more assured, but I think when it comes to kids it's very hard when there's a mark & you don't know why.

I asked for everyone's opinions & I'm happy to get a range of input from all sides but I don't think comparing me minding 15 kids & a crèche who's job it is minding 15 kids is anything alike.

while 15 children is a lot for a normal untrained adult if you choose to work with children - be it as an au pair or school teacher or in a crèche, then you know part of that job will be having a responsibility for several children - in this case 3/4 at a time. The hse guidelines say 6:1 at this age but it's never that many kids per carer & that was one of the reasons I chose it.
No I've never minded 15 kids, but I don't think that's the same comparison - I'm not a trained childcare worker and it's not a job that I would choose to do - or in honesty be suited to. Nor am I running a professional crèche or charging parents over €1k per month for a dedicated level of care to look after their children, so quite different really. I would assume the reason why people choose to do it after all is for a love of the job/children/working with kids. I know a few girls who trained and did fetac etc and then chose not to work in crèches because while they loved kids they felt it was too much responsibility on them so my take on it would be if you are working in that industry you are fully aware & accept that your role requires you to be responsible for the well being & safety of several children at once. Like any job if you don't feel its for you, you shouldn't do it as a career.

I've said throughout this thread I don't expect a one on one daily bodyguard - that's ridiculous! And yes she does run and jump and climb and again, I've said above that I've seen several bruises and scraped knees & thought nothing of it but the few incidents I mentioned on here didn't sit right with me & 'facts' aside, as a mother that counts for something, they don't call it mothers intuition for nothing.

It could be an issue or it could all be grand in a week or so, but I don't think I'm out of line for worrying or for keeping a closer eye on things.
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby Cinnabon » Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:12 pm

Sorry I didn't mean for you to have looked after 15 children but was referring to a few as in 3 or 4. I'm only giving my observation/experience of having used 3 crèches. The one with less children is far calmer and therefore easier to see what's happening. Typically at that age if one or two are interested in something everyone in the room congregates to that area or wants to copy what's going on so it can be difficult to see what's happening.

My DD for example has a chipped tooth and we're not sure if it happened in crèche or at home as I only noticed it one morning so these things can happen and you may never get to the route cause.

If you're not getting the vibe you want it may be time to consider an alternative option - would you consider a childminder instead?
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby tippergirl » Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:45 pm

You're going to have to trust your own instinct honeybee. See how next wk goes maybe, if you still have a niggly feeling about things then I think you should say something to the manager & see what she says & how things pan out.

I don't mean to freak you out or offend any crèche workers (was one myself) but like every profession you'll have people working in crèches who don't like their job, don't have an interest & aren't up to scratch. It just takes one of those people to upset the dynamics in any work place.

Go with your gut.
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Postby LilyWellspring » Fri May 13, 2016 11:59 am

HoneyBee wrote:Thanks for the advice ladies - I'd actually taken that approach lmlb, DH was saying they were prob trying to appear calm etc so that was prob it, so I didn't approach the manager this morning, decided to just pop in a little earlier this evening & see how it went.

So . . . Went to collect her & there's a red mark on her forehead, so I asked of she'd bumped it & was told that they'd only just noticed it & one girl says 'she probably fell over and bumped it' and the other one goes 'well it can't have been a drama, we'd have heard her cry if it was . . '

Would that not worry you? Like saying yes, she fell, it was just a tumble is one thing - I get that, she does it all the time - but saying 'yes your baby has a mark, possibly from falling down, but I don't know what happened' is more worrying. They are in charge of supervising kids so while they can't stop every fall or incident surely someone should at least always have eyes on the kids?

Did the mark disappear? Maybe it's a birthmark or something like that?
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