Sleep? What is that?

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Sleep? What is that?

Postby buttonsbump » Mon Oct 06, 2014 10:36 pm

Hi there, I am just wondering are there other new mums out there who are feeling anyways like I do? I have a beautiful 10week old baby boy, he was a healthy 10lbs at birth, is great at feeding and is so alert and happy but has absolutely no consistent sleep pattern. I realise he is still quite young but when I hear of other babies of a similar age sleeping through the night I feel like I am failing in some way. I am trying my best to feed him routinely throughout the day and have just increased the amount of formula I give him, he cat naps throughout the day with no big sleep but when it comes to bed time it is real hit or miss. I do actually think he has us wrapped around his finger already, I try to put him to bed when I know he is tired as I have found that he gets very frustrated when he is overtired. I really shouldn't complain as he does only feed usually once during the night but it is anybodies guess when he might go down or when he might wake. As I write this I think I should be more in control of this but tonight I am so tired and frustrated and emotional and as I listen to him fuss on the monitor I am looking at my husband and giving him the "you deal with this" look. I feel like I shouldn't really be complaining, I just think the last 10 weeks (actually plus the last 2 months of pregnancy) of broken sleep are taking their toll. I just feel like I am doing a bad job.
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby Hopeful2013 » Mon Oct 06, 2014 11:25 pm

Hey buttonsbump, congratulations firstly. Secondly u are not doing a bad job, I have an 8 week old and also getting her to sleep at night the last week can be hit and miss. I know it's hard to hear others say their babies sleep tru the night but all babies are different, my lo certainly doesn't sleep tru and I don't think we are anyway near that either. She will sleep for 4/5 hours then feed then sleep for another 3 hours so it's not too bad.

It is hard now but the bedtime routine will improve. I was redding something today that said babies don't have any sense of routine (there was a proper name on it but can't remember) until after 12 weeks.

Try get some rest when u can, and take all the help u can get. It will get easier (trying to convince myself also :-) )
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby buttonsbump » Tue Oct 07, 2014 12:30 pm

Congratulations to you too :) I think last night I was just feeling overwhelmed and needed to vent. The wee man eventually went to sleep around 11 and he slept until 7 !!, went down after that feed and woke at 11. If only we could move those times a bit earlier haha, I know I cannot complain. I will try and persist with the early bedtime and see how we get on, I just have to remember it is hit and miss and I have heard before that it takes them a while to be able to grasp a routine and fully understand the night/day concept. Everybody tells me to rest when he is resting but there always seems like a million better things to be doing even though I could probably do them much better with a bit of rest :) Hello parenthood. Thank you for your advice
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby Hopeful2013 » Tue Oct 07, 2014 1:14 pm

I think we are all a bit more tired and emotional at night - including the babies :-) Everything always seems better in the morning. I'm glad to hear u had a good night last night. This parenthood business certainly is tough going at times but so rewarding also. I'm currently lying on the couch with lo asleep on my chest. I've a million other things to be doing but trying to enjoy these moments while I can :-)
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby omgbfp » Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:41 pm

Buttons remember the last 10weeks have probably been the most challenging of your life, that little person did not come with a manual! You are not doing anything wrong!!!
The advice I would give you is don't compare your child to other children, you'll drive yourself mad!!!
If you can persevere with the bedtime, we have a 7pm bedtime & it's the best thing we ever did but at 11mths DS could still wake at night for a bottle! He woke at 3.30am last night which he hadn't done in weeks!!!
Try to sleep when your LO is sleeping. Housework etc can wait. My sister gave me great advice. She said try to stay on top of the washing coz running out of baby clothes is a nightmare, let everything else look after itself, you'll get time again in 6mths to sort the house when a good routine & naps are established. I lived by that advice! The wash basket was always empty but the rest of the house was pretty much neglected for a few months!!! And I don't regret a bit of it!!! Hope you're feeling well today!
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby buttonsbump » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:40 am

Thank you for the advice, it sounds like a good way to embrace the chaos. I have been trying to keep on top of the washing and have been doing okay but ny husbands pile is slowly building as the babies cute clothes are so much easier to put in first. We have managed so far without a dryer but one will definitely have to be purchased in the coming weeks if i am to keep on top of laundry this winter. I was never a totally neat person but still everytime I change or bathe or even feed him it looks like a tornado has hit that area :) but then he smiles and giggles and i forget about it for awhile.

He was in bad form last night, i think he may stik be getting over his vaccination from last week. He went down very easy at 9 though, awake at 2 and then again at half six but I think I am beginning to realise it wont happen overnight but also to try every day and not let it slide because eventually it may work. Thank you again :)
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby omgbfp » Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:47 am

Oh it will take time! Does your LO have a dodi? I know some people hate them but I think they're great!
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby Hopeful2013 » Wed Oct 08, 2014 9:57 am

My lo doesn't have one but I'm beginning to think maybe I should - is it unfair on her not to have one do u think?
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby omgbfp » Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:04 am

Lol no I think it's unfair on you for him not to have one! No you know what's best for your LO, it's your decision. I would never have showered if my little man didn't have a dodi. I'm just wondering if the dodi would possibly settle him instead of a feed at night occasionally? But as I say you're the mammy, you know best for your child!
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby Hailey » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:20 pm

I agree with omgbfp I'd be lost without the dodi for my dd, she also has a little comforter that I used to put inside my top before bedtime and place in the Moses basket with her so she had my scent near her, each baby is different as are parenting styles , so find what's best for you and lo. If only these small people came eith a manual :)hopefully you get a full nights sleep soon :bedtime
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby buttonsbump » Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:15 pm

I do use a dodi and he usually spits it out when he drifts off often waking him up which has made me rethink it, but in the early weeks when breastfeeding i found it helped me get a break between feeds. The nurses practically threw it at us in the hospital. When my sister cut down my nieces night time feeds she gave started giving her water when she would wake and after a week she slept through the night. When you know they have gotten enough during the day i think it is okay to try and get them through the night. A good sleep is as good as a feed i have been told many times by my MIL :)
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby Lalyn » Sat Nov 08, 2014 5:06 am

Hi buttons,
When i read your posting i thought i could hv written it myself with one exception. My lo doesnt sleep anywhere if I'm not included. He's just 10 weeks now and up to now wld only sleep attached to the boob. I was so sleep deprived that we gave in and he got in habit of sleeping with us in bed. It was really great for the night time feeds.
Because of this habit it meant that i hv to go to bed with him. The onky routine we had was that we wld go bed between 9 and 10 and he wld hv last feed then.
He wld then wake up initially at about 1,3 and then 5 for feeds. Now however its just 3 and then 5.
Tonight is the very first night we persisted and got him to sleep in his own cot.. I now just need to see how the night feeds are. Its now 4am and he hasn't woken yet (tho was late when he finally settled) but my boobs are telling me its feed time.
We'll see how it goes.
Buttons how hv you gotten on since?
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby buttonsbump » Sat Nov 08, 2014 11:13 pm

Hi there, well my LO is 15 weeks now and things are going alot better but still there is room for improvement. Last night was a disaster though, he kept waking every hour and was up super early and then no big sleep after that. We have since concluded that he is going through a spurt and may be teething as his cheeks are rosy and he is exploring with his tongue abd is constantly eating his fists. Normally now he wakes up at 7, feeds, stays up for nearly 2hrs and goes to sleep again for at least an hour, he feeds 4 times after that roughly every 3hrs but sometimes he wont last that long. Bedtime is usually between 8 and 9 but it depends when he wakes. He is so good and really only cries when hungry or tired.
I am confused though as to whether i need to increase his formula or no. Of bottles as he wakes during the night. He doesnt need fed as trust me when he is hungry he lets us know but he wakes and talks and wriggles out of his blanet. Part of the problem i feel is that he is too confined in the moses basket but that will be sorted this week with delivery of cot mattress. But i feel if he had more food he might sleep thrgh? I have given him an extra bottle today partly as his feeds were closer together. My MIL says i cant be bloating him out with extra bottles and that he will aoon need to go on solids. I am going to hold off as long as possible as was at his 3month check the other day and the PHN said hold him off as long as i can. He is top 90percentiles for both weight and height so i don't think i will reach 6 months.
I just feel it would be better if he could get longer unbroken sleep. As for day naps it is anyones guess how long he might sleep but again i will try and help this by letting him take his day naps in the travel cot this week, more space and also get him used to him sleeping out of his moses basket. I also hope this works as although when he wakes, rewrapping him ans giving him his soother pretty much settles him straight away, the broken nights sleep do take their toll. We have had one full nights sleep since he came home with us and it was pure fluke, twas a day where routine went completely out the window. Well actually my OH has been away for work and i have been jealous lol.
I have no doubt that it is alot easier to work on Bedtime routines when not breastfeeding, my friend has an 11month old and is still trying to break night time feeds. I think also realising that they do go through spurts is so important as i never wanted to use food as a comforter when not needed (must tell that to myself) but when they are upset and unsettled outside their routine times they may need fed. It earlier on caused a bit if friction with my OH as his answer to crying was Feed Him, but i just learned that sometimes it needs to be done but more often than not for my LO he is fighting sleep.
On advice of my sister i was quite good at making sure he went to sleep after he wa put in his basket as sometimes he would fall asleep on me especially when i breastfed but she told me not to let him depend on it. Unfortunately I an weakening in this as i find it easier to put him in his basket asleep as when he really gets worked up he can fight and scream at us for qyite some time before he settles. Gosh sorry for the long spiel but i am lying here next to a peaceful baby for the first time today so will take the opportunity :)
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby MrsS11 » Sun Nov 09, 2014 5:31 am

Try not to worry too much about feeds and routine too much he's still very young. If he needs the comfort of a feed then give it to him. I wouldn't be with holding feeding him just yet. That's more when he is well established on solids especially if he's going through a growth spurt. As u said he's probably waking himself up because he's outgrowing the Moses basket. Have u tried sleeping bags? It could be that he's getting a bit cold when he kicks the blanket off. I wasn't sure whether u are breastfeeding or ff from your post. If ff if he's draining the bottles then up the oz I think the average amount of bottles is about 6 in 24 hrs but that depends on the baby. Don't worry about bloating him out if a baby doesn't want to be fed then there's no way you'll get a bottle into him :) when he is on three meals a day then u usually drop bottles but not before that. Hope that helps
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby buttonsbump » Sun Nov 09, 2014 9:37 am

I am formula feeding now but partial breastfed until about 10 weeks. I will definitely up his formula quantities or bottle amounts if he will take them. He fed during the night last night as I could tell he was hungry. We have the heat on more in room for winter si i don't think it's a problem but i am going to buy him a sleep suit today for cot transition. Thank you for the advice. :)
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Re: Sleep? What is that?

Postby cudleyb » Sun Nov 09, 2014 12:02 pm

Hi buttonsbump sounds like you have a hungry baby which boys generally are with my 2 I could never get the bottles into them quick enough or keep them satisfied for long I had to change them onto the hungrier baby food wen they were 4wks old and they settled much better after that! I know have a lo she's 13wks and she's completely different she outgrew her moses basket quickly she kept hitting the sides and waking herself so we put her into her cot in a grobag and she sleeps a lot better plus she put herself into her own routine I don't think its anything we do I think the lo's only do things wen there ready she only takes 20min naps if that during the day and sleeps from 8.30/9.30pm to 6.30/7.30am she drinks 6/7oz feeds every 3hrs till bed time... Just keep going with your lo he'll soon settle he just has to find his routine and sometimes it takes longer plus as you said it sounds like he's having a growth spurt plus teething so that would have him off too. I hope you get the sleep you need cos everything seems easier wen your not tired.
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