Longer term ttc #1

Questions, advice and support regarding medically assisted procreation. IVF and other assisted TTC methods.

Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby Oliviasmum » Wed Jun 24, 2020 11:52 am

Mrsa you are totally entitled to feel the way you feel don’t apologize I totally sympathize with you I just found out a family member is pregnant and wasn’t even trying it’s their 3rd and they are only 25 and like that to I am happy for them but like yourself I’m so jealous I’ve been trying for nearly just 3 years and this is their 2nd pregnancy since I’ve been trying and like that to I just feel like crying myself a river but I know I’m luckier then most to actually have my little girl I keep telling myself I’ve no right to be this upset as I have her and there are people out there really dying even for just one so I kinda feel selfish for feeling the way I do... I really pray that you will get there and get the result you really deserve don’t lose hope it took me 7 years the first time but time is not on my side to go at it for another 7 years so I’m trying to talk the oh into fertility treatment I’ve even been doing the research so I’ll persuade him eventually
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby Dotty37 » Wed Jun 24, 2020 12:04 pm

Dont apologise mrsa, your entitled to feel mad angry and upset. The pregnancy announcements are always hard and it just hurts. We all need a but of a meltdown sometimes, it's good to let it out. Allow yourself to feel whatever you want for a few days, resisting it was always worse i feel
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby LorraineG » Wed Jun 24, 2020 1:25 pm

Must be a full moon or something mrsa...I cried for about 6hours solid on Monday night! And just because its illogical doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel it...in fact I think the fact that its illogical makes it twice as bad coz not only are we upset for ourselves, we're also feeling guilty for being upset and that just drives it round in circles! Deep breaths and some pampering for you too I think! I remember last year when my cousin announced she was having her 6th baby...it was horrendous! I was happy for them, jealous, afraid I'd never be a mom, and felt such anger at the fact that he clearly only had to look in her direction and they would get pregnant. None of it was fair or logical but you gotta feel what you feel. And don't worry about feeling like you've stalled...you WILL get there and it will be worth every second of this torturous "journey"!
Michelle I cannot even imagine what it feels like facing into a decision like that. Could you talk to a counselor about it to help sort out the knots I'm sure are in your head about it?
Dotty I'd say November is a good timeframe to work with. Like you said it will give you some focus for the moment and plenty of time to keep trying yourselves in the mean time. Sorry you got stuck down the rabbit hole again...it seems like once you have to go down there in the first place you'll fall into the trap forever!
Oliviasmum glad little one is feeling a bit better...what utterly crap timing though! Hope you're doing ok!
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MrsA » Wed Jun 24, 2020 1:58 pm

Haha full moon indeed.

Oh god girls thanks for listening I knew you would get it. It’s just hard not to feel so isolated. Literally nobody knows what to say to me and there’s nothing they can say really. Friends of mine had a baby there recently too. She doesn’t know what’s gone on with us and I’ve been adamant to the girls I don’t want her to know. We’re close but not that close if you get me. She’s constantly flooding our group chat with pics, everytime anyone goes to see there’s about 40 more pictures of whoever went to visit with the baby. I just find it a lot. I don’t want to say anything because that’s silly and it’s not her fault she’s excited and proud of her little babs. I’m half Annoyed with my friends who do know cos obviously they’re all over the baby and dying to meet her (no other babies in group) but I take each enthusiastic response as a personal insult (illogical but I seem fully intent on playing the victim this week). I’ve just stopped responding on group texts Because at the moment I don’t have the energy but just feel rly lonely and paranoid they all think I’m an arsehole.
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MeanderGo » Wed Jun 24, 2020 7:21 pm

MrsA don't feel guilty at all. We've all been there (& i was only trying half the time you've been). And I'm gonna be very honest that sometimes I wasn't even that happy for the successful couple! We need a good woe is me, hiding it all the time just means it will come out eventually. I blocked baby photos on Facebook, stopped downloading photos automatically in WhatsApp group chats - I wasn't bitter, just didn't want to be overwhelmed. The person who I was most excited to hear who got pregnant was trying for well over 4 years. So just focus on how much happier your friends are going to be about your news as opposed to those pregnancy sneezes. I think it's only fair too!! You're so close with serum and you're doing all the right things in the lead up. This is just a horrible life lesson in patience and life-isn't-fair. And to be honest, the people who count will know why you're keeping your distance and won't think any less of you for it. Don't worry what the others think, life's too short!
Lorraine, whine away!! In fairness I took up a good long stint purely on lack of bowel movements :D pelvic pain is like back pain, it just takes over everywhere. I'm going to presume you might do stretching (whatever you can do at this stage), baths, heat packs... At least the financial stress is dealt with!
Oliviasmum, research is power! If dd isn't helping with DTD, then focus on treatment options so you can be breaking down that barrier while you can catch next ov. Did you ever find out what your insurance covers?
Dotty, I'm so sorry the stress levels were up again. Fertility is just evil. At least if you're focusing on November, you've months to focus on things that you have control over.
Michelle, there must be hundreds of questions going round and round your head. Possibly a counsellor could be good if you're not already seeing one, as Lorraine suggested. I have a Skype session every Monday with mine and I piece together thoughts and motives every session. It could help you straighten out your thoughts. Would ex need to give consent? If that's going to be a problem, then it might change the questions going around your head... We'll be here, whatever and whenever you need!!
Brownie, flipper, MrsK, hope all's good with you!!
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MrsK19 » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:09 pm

Hi Michelle, so lovely to hear from you but my heart is broken for you reading the horrendous time you have been through. You are definitely better off without someone like that is your life. Agree with the girls re counsellor to help you figure out what to do with your frozen embryo.
MrsA sorry to hear you are having a shitty time pregnant news is so tough. Your time will be hear soon and when it gets here it will be so much more special. I thought my time would never come and i think I am appreciating it so much more because of the journey.
Dotty sorry to hear af is here and Lorraine sorry to hear you are so uncomfortable. Hopefully the next 7 weeks fly by for you.
Sarah great to hear from you and great to hear Luke is doing well.
I am doing well at the moment.
Hi to everyone else
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MeanderGo » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:29 pm

Oops, missed you out Sarah. Fab Luke is settling into his new life so much. You must be so much in love! Enjoy every minute!!
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MrsA » Thu Jun 25, 2020 4:27 pm

Thanks for all the lovely words everyone.

Just wondering how anyone in Dublin has ever managed to get day 3 and day 21 bloods done from a GP. We’ve rang six clinics and every one of them only does bloods once a week. So frustrating.
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby LorraineG » Thu Jun 25, 2020 5:03 pm

Oh ffs mrsa! Talk about a pain!
I just googled and theres a place called folacare in bray that seems to be open weekends?
Other than that well woman centre? Womens health clinic? Mater private if you can get a referral from a doctor...did you say the detective worked with a doc?
Hope you get sorted x
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MrsA » Thu Jun 25, 2020 5:36 pm

Thanks a mill Lorraine. Got an appointment In place in town for Monday which should be day 4... although I’ve since started spotting. Day 4 as far as I know is ok for day 3 isn’t it? Say a prayer I don’t get a full flow tonight. The bloody stress.
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby LorraineG » Thu Jun 25, 2020 5:57 pm

Anything after lunchtime doesn't count as day 1 so you're good that way...and as far as I remember day 2-4 is good for day 3 bloods. Great you've got an appointment anyway...phew!
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MrsA » Thu Jun 25, 2020 6:27 pm

Yep although forgot the check the price.. gulp! I hope they don’t rob me!
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby LorraineG » Thu Jun 25, 2020 8:24 pm

Ah hopefully it will be reasonable and you'll be sorted!
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby Michelle81 » Sun Jun 28, 2020 9:22 am

MrsA all those feelings are completely familiar to me and totally natural. I hated the pregnancy announcements and all the baby pics. It's ok to feel shitty and even silence the group for a while if you don't want to actually leave it.
Thanks for all the support, I am seeing a counsellor and I'll discuss this with her but I kind of feel nobody really understands the value of this embryo except ye. I spoke to one friend about it and she just presumed I was 'getting rid of it'. Dh has to sign consent whether I want to keep it or discard it. So yeh that could be another problem.
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MeanderGo » Wed Jul 01, 2020 4:03 pm

Michelle do you have any idea whether he would give consent? It would be tough to work your way through all your emotions and options to find out at the end that he closes that one off. It's such a tricky situation. You'd think the "you owe me big time" argument would be strong in this area... Is going down the donor route an option for you, cost-wise or fertility-wise?
Girls this week is sooooo tough. All I want to do is close my eyes but work demands are endless. These 5 day weeks seem a whole lot longer wfh. Anyone have anything interesting or exciting going on in their lives?! I feel mine is very dull and energy-sapping right now...
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby brownie » Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:01 pm

Meander totally feel the same. I feel like one of the Harry Potter dementors has come down and sucked out all my energy. DS is going through some night terror phase too and was awake all night, then I ended up puking into kitchen sink in the middle of it. I think I'd crack altogether if I was still working!! Only two days to Friday!!

How many weeks you now meander?

Michelle have you broached the subject with him at all. I don't think I'd even be able to speak to him yet if I was you. I suppose you have to weigh everything up, personally I think you are so entitled to use it if that's what you want. Hope you are coping ok, must be so hard to get your head around everything that's happened...

I had scan yesterday, baby looking fine, placenta low but will move hopefully!
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby Flipper23 » Thu Jul 02, 2020 12:14 pm

Hey girls, sorry I haven’t been on. I have been such a whinge that I wouldn’t add anything positive!

20 weeks today and I feel done. The anxiety I have is crippling. Have my anatomy scan this evening and everyone keeps saying I’ll feel better after it, and I know I will get momentary relief but that’s it.

Also have bad cramps so convinced I’m in labour.

The good news is that I can feel kicks now, not v regular but most days I feel a jab or two and it’s giving me some reassurance. I’m also huge. Would normally bemoan this but delighted this time around that it appears she is growing anyway.

How’s everyone? Great scan went well brownie! Any further thoughts Michelle?
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby Dotty37 » Thu Jul 02, 2020 4:26 pm

Will you feel up to facing him about it michelle? We all totally get the importance of that embryo, if it's what you want to do take that strength and give him both barrels, hopefully he would be reasonable enough to come to some kind of agreement with you.
Flipper I'm sure your in bits today dreading the appt, let us know how you get on. I wish I had some fab words of wisdom for you, but I suppose take it day by day, I know after this the next appt becomes the focus but maybe trying little steps or day by day might make it seem a little bit less overwhelming? Sorry if that's completely useless advice. Will be thinking of you.
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby MeanderGo » Thu Jul 02, 2020 5:47 pm

Flipper that's awful to be so stressed about it all. Sending lots of love and support! Good luck with the scan this evening. I can imagine you won't feel relaxed until you have a healthy baby in your arms. I don't know what else you can do that hasn't already been suggested to you. Regular counselling sessions? Daily scans???? Hopefully the kicks will be regular and inspire you with relief. Fingers crossed!!
Brownie great that your scan went well. I've a low placenta too but they said they'll only need to check it at 34 weeks to make sure it's moved. How far along are you now? I'm 24 weeks now. It's going slowly and quickly. I watched a Netflix episode last night where a very pregnant woman had her belly on view. It was ENORMOUS. I need to go googling to find out whether that's normal or ginormous for TV. I'm a little scared about that now :shock:
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Re: Longer term ttc #1

Postby Dotty37 » Thu Jul 02, 2020 5:53 pm

Sorry brownie forgot to day great news bout the scan. My placenta was low too but they can move up to 34 weeks, mine didn't but they generally do.
Meander I think we dont notice it so much on ourselves, I never thought I was that big, as in I didn't think I looked pregnant and I saw a friend a few days before I had her, and she said I was massive. It's hard to see it when it's you I think
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