21, pregnant and alone

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21, pregnant and alone

Postby Bellatrixie » Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:54 am

Hey, I'm 21, single, 3 weeks pregnant with a guy I dated a few times before he moved back to England. Deleted his number because I was so mad over the way he ended it. Then lo and behold I find out i am expecting. To say I am scared is an understatement. I just don't know can I do it. He turned out to be an a$$ and I have no intention of chasing him. I have a few friends who are happily settled with a child and a boyfriend but I just never thought I'd be in this situation. My long-term on-off boyfriend (not the father) doesn't know. I miss him so much and I know he misses me. I just feel like if it was with him I wouldn't have the thoughts I do now. Please dont tell me I've ruined my life and that of the child. I never intended for this to happen but there's nothing I can change now. This is meant to be the happiest time in ones life, all i feel is scared, ashamed and alone.
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby Bellatrixie » Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:04 am

BTW, i do not want to sound ungrateful. I understand how much of a gift this is. I just have no one i can talk to. Although some friends have children, they are with stable partners and most of the others would be very much against me keeping the baby. I think I want it, I just need a confidence boost and a little encouragement and a few wise words from all you ladies. I think I could have it in me. I just do not know what to expect. Has anyone done it alone?
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby Lexie » Thu Aug 23, 2012 6:37 am

First things first.
You are very brave looking for advice and support.
No one here judges.
I'm just not sure if here is the riight place for the sort of support you are going to need.
Eveery one here knows even with a planned pregnancy support is needed.
You need your family. Have you got family? How will they react? If they are anything like mine ................ even this time last year at the age of 38 and engaged they blew but soon came back down (it wasnt to be in the end).
anyway

http://www.positiveoptions.ie/
Talk to the professionals if you cannot talk to family as yet.

Yuo have not ruined yuor life but life has certainly changed. Best of luck sweetheart.
This forum is great for ranting and sharing your concerns and support but the support you realy need is family, good friends and the professionals.
xx
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby RocTheBaby » Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:26 pm

You haven't ruined your life hun, in fact in a few months you will probably say this is the best thing you ever had in your life. I know it must be so daunting being so young and being single. But you are obviously very smart, strong and kind hearted because you have made the decision to do this yourself. I think you're amazing. I firmly believe things happen for a reason and this gift has been sent to you now because that's whats in your life's path. Everything will fall into place wait and see.

But you do need to reach out to friends and family because support, encouragement, reassurance and help are much needed during pregnancy and when you become mummy xxxxxx
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby RocTheBaby » Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:26 pm

You haven't ruined your life hun, in fact in a few months you will probably say this is the best thing you ever had in your life. I know it must be so daunting being so young and being single. But you are obviously very smart, strong and kind hearted because you have made the decision to do this yourself. I think you're amazing. I firmly believe things happen for a reason and this gift has been sent to you now because that's whats in your life's path. Everything will fall into place wait and see.

But you do need to reach out to friends and family because support, encouragement, reassurance and help are much needed during pregnancy and when you become mummy xxxxxx
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby lovemylilbean » Thu Aug 23, 2012 3:31 pm

hey pet i agree with the other ladies that u should talk to some one close to you for some support or positive options, thay take care of ladies with their surprise babies every day, no1 here judges any1 because no1 deserves to be judged for anything they do in the first place we are all human n no 1 is perfect.

on the otherhand i know what its like to grow up in a single parent house n i can honestly say i had the best childhood and very close to my mam, she raised 3 of us by herself at the age of 26 she had me n im the youngest she had my oldest brother at 21/22, n we all turned out fine, but she had amazing support from friends n family, if u decided already that you wanna keep the baby, dont listen to anyone that tried to tell u otherwise thay arent in your shoes, pregnancy is a rollercoaster full of ups n downs but way more ups than any1 could ask for, its the longest but fastest most amazing 9 months of ur life and everything changes if tat makes sense, look after yourself hunni n what ever you decide to do i wish you all the luck in the world, please talk to some1 you can trust if nothing else hun, :hug :hug
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby MrsMcR » Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:04 am

I've been there and you'll get through this. You are allowed to feel like this so don't beat yourself up. Say what you need to say, you're 21 and of course this is a shock. I was in shock when I found out but once I told my parents and especially once that baby started kicking most of my worries just vanished. I was 19 then and had a different life mapped out for me. I'm sitting here now 13 years later with my son about to start secondary school and a happily married woman, not to my son's biological father but to a man that I like to call my son's real dad. I couldn't have asked for a better life. Yes I didn't get to do what most of my friends were doing all of the time but some of the time was enough for me because I got to go home to a kid that surprised me everyday and still does.

My advice to you is to tell your family and friends and let them in. They will want to be there for you and support you and I don't just mean financial support I mean emotional support because you are going to need it.

I hope you look back in 13 years time and realise that this "surprise" was the best thing that ever happened to you.

Good luck xxx
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby MrsEL10 » Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:14 am

I can't add much more to what has already been said but I do agree with the others you need to tell someone that can be there to support you. I fully believe everything happens for a reason and hope that you're doing OK :hug
TTC # 1 Dec 10 - Dec 12, currently pregnant on # 2 :)
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby babyL » Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:03 am

Ah hunni big big hugs for you! I've been in the situation you are so I know how scary it is! I was 21 also when I found out I was pregnant on my DD I was with a abusive partner so knew that leaving him was what was best for me and my unborn child! I chose to be a single parent and to be honest it was hard at times but wouldn't change it for the world!! First of all you need to get some support from a family member or close friend! You need someone to sit with you and talk through all you options, you don't need to be alone hunni and I bet family and friends would hate for you to be going through something so big on your own! I really hope your ok hunni and dont make any decisions yet! We are here if you need us xxxxx
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby lollypops » Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:35 am

hey hun ive also been there and i know ur feeling so scared at the mo,u wont believe the relief after talking to some1 bout it be it a family member,close friend u trust,ur doctor or something.u need some support and it makes all the difference believe me.being a single parent is hard at times but also so worth it i wudnt change a thing,my mam was a single parent for the first 7 years of my life and she did a great job.a one parent family is just as good as a two parent family,try to talk to some1 soon hun and best of luck with whatever decision u make hun x
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Re: 21, pregnant and alone

Postby Kerrshay » Fri Jan 26, 2018 5:53 pm

You are not alone...I really hope that you find comfort in the fact that you are pregnant with a beautiful baby!
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